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Why I Am An Atheist

The post “The Sparking of My Atheism” covered how I grew my fervency to fight against cult based religions, but it does not explain why I am an atheist today. Especially since I never grew up in a church. In other words, I never went to a church mass at all. This really gave me the opportunity to be on the outside of both positions and look inside.

My atheist thinking actually started very young. The only thing I knew of God, were the things that I saw on TV. Pastors, symbols, churches, and so on were always shown on TV, and were also around me in the world. I never did understand any point of it, nor did I have any curiosity for it. When I was about seven, we visited my aunt and I got my first introduction into Christianity. She read the story of Noah and the Ark. Yes, it was definitely a children’s book of the story, but it still involved God and Noah. I remember thinking that that story was completely separate from the Bible, and that it was in no way true, or even possible for that matter. The story was there just to teach a bit about God in a metaphorical sense.

When I finally hit the age of 12, I soon began to believe in God and Jesus. I prayed constantly. Mainly for myself the first few times, but I realized that I was being selfish and should be praying for others instead. I would pray and I would wait. Nothing would happen other than I would feel good for that hour or so. I would pray some more, I would feel good again, but nothing would happen once again. I really began to question my own self and was wondering if it was real. I was thinking that maybe if I joined a church, I would learn the proper way to pray so that I really could call on God to help others.

I was 15 when my first atheist experience happened. I found out that Noah and the Ark are in the bible and are considered to have actually happened. I also got the full gruesome details of the entire story. I could not believe this. I began to ask things like, “where did the water come from”, “why do we have plants if Noah only brought animals”, “how did Noah feed every animal”, “how did Noah get the animals from Antarctica”, “how did all those animals survive in that small of an area”, and my favorite, “how did all the animals survive after the water receded and there was no food on the ground?” The questions were a shock to my system, and I could not believe that Noah had actually existed unless there was more to the story that I didn’t know about.

Then, I hit the age of 17. My parents bought a small church and converted it into a wedding chapel. They also leased it out to different congregations. My dad even went online, payed $20, and became an ordained minister so that he could marry people. I took this opportunity to maybe sneak into a church session one day, but that idea started to crumble fast. Many of the pastors that were renting from my parents were very, very rude. They let their followers destroy our building, and they refused to even help pay for the damages, especially since they knew my parents ran their business and livelihood through it. I was also stumbling on the pastors’ finances every now and then, and seeing how much money they were pulling in from tithes and offerings. My parents were renting the building for relatively cheap, and these pastors were raking in thousands a week. Not a single one of these pastors had any community projects or offered their tithes to their own congregates who were in need. One pastor even outright stated that “church is a business”. I really began to lose faith in there being a church that could help me.

After this, I soon took on my mother’s agnostic approach of,  “if there is a God, I’ll just answer to Him. If not, then I guess I answer to nobody.” This thought process continued for quite a few years. Well, until I got a girlfriend that was very much into debating things like family life, politics, and even religion. We used to stay up for hours debating religion. She was also agnostic, but more of a spiritual agnostic that believed in ghosts and reincarnation (don’t get me started on that hypocrisy). Our main topics were definitely towards Mormonism and the blatant idiocy and attention seeking of Joseph Smith. Mainly because her family attended a Mormon church for a few months. It was also very interesting hearing her tales of Sunday teaching during mass. These conversations did keep me questioning though, and I was thirsty for answers.

I finally hit the age of 23. At this point, my girlfriend and I had split for the third, and nearly final time, and I was back to being an agnostic with questions. About a year passed, and one night, while surfing the internet, I ran across a BlogTV conversation with LovingDoubt and DannyPantsGM. Both of these two are Youtube atheists, and are great people. As I sat and listened to their stories, everything began to unravel and finally make sense. The cultish drive on my town’s church proved to me that not everything in greed is based on silver and gold. You can be greedy for popularity, too. Everything I questioned with the story of Noah was completely accurate and showed that the story is taken literally by many, but it is completely unprovable. Pastors are greedy and rude, and the majority of them do steal from their offerings and leave little remorse to anyone outside of their congregation. Now, I had found my solid ground to outright declare myself as an atheist. Not a solid professional atheist, but an atheist at the least.

I now sit at the age of 25. I have debated with many believers, and have immersed myself in with the non-believers. I have read many parts of the bible, and have heard many parts that atheists argue with. I have also immersed myself into science, which is something I have always wanted to do as a kid, and am now learning far more than what I have in all my years of schooling.

I have finally come to this conclusion. God did not create man, man created God. Man has created God and Gods in an attempt to personify the universe, but in reality, the universe is not a person, but an uncaring thing. Gods have also been used as nothing more than a crutch to explain the bad things that happen to them because of nature, and have also been used as a crutch to enlighten the good things that happen. Humanity is only allowing their minds to fool itself with the ideology of a God. Science brings the facts of our known nature to the mind, whereas religion only brings raw emotion to a person, calls it “faith”, and then proceeds to label it as fact. Fact is something that is both provable, and is replicable. Religion, in all it’s thousands of years, has yet to prove that a God does exist, or that even it’s most fundamental foundation, the spirit, exists.


2 Responses

  1. Nice story. I also found that I couldn’t believe at all in the Noah’s story. Unfortunately, about half of the world’s population either never asked or never cared to truly and rationally think about these questions.

    I’m also happy that YouTube atheists could be of help to you. I sometimes wonder if they are doing anything (though I gain great entertainment from their videos), but I see that they have helped you. Take care!

    • Thanks. Noah is probably the easiest Biblical stories to question. It’s so chock-full of unrealistic magics it just has to be nothing more but a tall tale.

      I think the YT atheists are doing a lot of good. They’re showing that it is OK to be an atheist. They are also educating everyone on how science obliterates the Bible, and reveals it for what it truly is; just one big tall tale. They also expose the crazies and make sure they don’t gain any significance in power. Then again, most Christians don’t even want anything to do with those crazies in the first place, either.

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